Weak Mind

(#$()@#$*()*(#@(*&#@*$&#@ .... I should just throw myself out the window ....
After so many days, I succumbed today .... WTF ....

Ugly Jazzy

Ok, not only am I bui bui now, sis just commented during breakfast ....

"You have to stop being in the sun, you are very nan2 kan4 (ugly) now ..... "
Mom said I tan easily so it explains why I got so chao tah over the weekend, and continued to laugh that I'm now like a construction worker ....

To which sis again re-emphasized that I'm very nan2 kan4 now .... -_-"

But seriously, I'm sooooo black now I myself am disgusted .... For someone that doesn't really bother about being fair and stuff,
this ...
is ..........
BAD .............

*CRYYYYYYYYYYYYY*

The 5 Lessons

Forward, Backward, Sweep, Stern rudder, J draw ....

These are the 5 key skills learnt during the kayaking course this weekend.

Thanks to Tigger who broached the subject about some upcoming event that require kayaking skills, we decided to sign up for it, and managed to get Balasing & Roentgen interested enough to join us.

I was a little apprehensive days before the course because I am never really comfortable in the waters and the thought about doing capsize drills wasn't didn't something I was looking forward to. But stupid enough to sign up already, there is no way to back out, just had to grit my teeth and go through with it, praying I wouldn't drown.

I was expecting the class to be filled with youngsters and true enough, most of the participants were really young (we had to sign our attendance and found most of the participants with NRIC starting with the high 80s and 90s!!!!!) The youngest with S94*** .... geesh!!!! That's like a few years older than my niece!!! *faint* Some of the participants even thought we were teachers! hahaha

These were a total of three instructors with the group. The main instructor, who I assumed is a trainee, is super young, super inexperienced and super ill-prepared to be an instructor. Can't teach, can't articulate and can't demo. But ok lah, he is very young and just hopefully can get more guidance from the more senior instructors there ... hopefully he will be able to improve and do a better job in future. Thankfully the other two instructors were more experienced and would step in to help and re-explain some of the lessons so that we wouldn't be left too confused ...

When the time came for us to do our capsize drill, I was of course so not looking fwd to it. But thankfully apart from some glitches on the first try, I got the hang of it and wasn't afraid of doing the drill on the second day (yay!!!). But the waters was really really salty and yucky! For one not conditioned to the sea conditions, I was really unprepared for what I was in for when my head got into the waters. Yucks!!!!

And I was really really lousy at controlling my kayak and instead ended up with the kayak controlling me !!! While people were kayaking straight, I was either in merry go round, or just swaying from side to side. Argh!!! Totally frustrating!!!

Day 2, cloudless, sunny and scorching hot! I was so not looking forward to another day of haphazard kayaking and hence was very happy when the ordeal was delayed when the instructor told us to go for an early lunch (that was at 10am!) and returned at 1130am because the tide was low and we couldn't head out -_-"

Anyhow the course had to go on. ... we were taught a few other skills like "the classic" which is to move sideways (another option to the J draw) and the rescue drill. Again, I wasn't looking forward to the rescue drill but was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be really fun! The rescue drill is having 2 kayakers rescue a capsized kayak. The steps were easy enough and it was fun to go through the drill. The 4 of us formed a team and all of us managed to complete the drill without any glitches. Very fun! Later the instructors made us all capsized together and think of ways to rescue ourselves. It was really good fun!

Towards the end of the class, the sky had turned ominously dark and we were told to hurry and head back to shore because there was lightning. As I kayak back, I was admiring the beautiful sky. Part of the sky was like a canvass, brushed with a black inked brush but leaving parts of the canvass white. It was very captivating ... just too bad I didn't have my camera with me.

I had so much difficulty paddling in a straight line and just got increasingly more frustrated trying to paddle back to shore while the rest were way ahead of me. HUGE THANKS to Roentgen for watching out for me, following behind and guiding me along (though I have no idea how to correct my own mistakes). One of the instructors, being the sweeper, was very encouraging and consoling. Reassuring me that its ok and that with more "water time" (meaning more practices), I will be able to better grasp and handle the kayak. By the time I got back to shore, everyone was already out of the waters and carrying their kayaks back for cleaning. I just basically struggled out of the kayak feeling defeated. Frankly, it was very very frustrating but I was still just glad it was over.

All in all, an interesting class. I think it will take me some time to get over my own frustration and fear before I go for some more water time. The guys and some of our course mates were already planning for 2-star kayaking course, -_-" but not for me. I really don't think I am up to it. Am already thankful that the instructors pitied me enough to award me the 1-star certificate haha

Though the course has been tiring and extremely frustrating for me at times, I do have some observations.

1. Quite comforted to see that the young kids nowadays are still helpful and polite. Some of our fellow participants are from the JC. They are polite, friendly and helpful. They will always be helpful and help pull one another close whenever we had to form a raft (i.e lining our kayaks side by side in the waters whenever the instructor put up his peddlar vertically on his kayak). And one of them helped me with my kayak when they saw me alone trying to carry it. Our younger generation have hope lah!!! *thunderous applause*
2. The youngest boy, all of 13 years old, just came up to help me empty the water in my kayak after my capsize drill, without being asked to. So chivalrous!! Again reinforces my point above!!! Somemore only 13!!! *broad smile*
3. Thanks to Roentgen for being such an angel kor2. Think he could tell (its obvious actually) that I'm really struggling and he was really kind to watch over me, slowing down many times to ensure I wasn't left behind. Thanks Roentgen!

Of course there are also unpleasant experiences like how yucky the water is, how horrible these guys (whose names I did mention in this entry :P) were, laughing at poor me for my lack of kayaking skills, my bui bui and not able to get myself into the kayak, for coming together to bully me and splash water at me with their paddles (oh, I think Bala was the only one who refrained from such a childish act but I really can't be sure amid the chaos so I can't really absolve him from the crime can I?? :P) with evil Roentgen being the most horrid one, filling my kayak with lots of water!! -_-"

And now, I'm just a super duper chao tah, roasted pig. Obviously slapping myself with loads of sunblock didn't help much, somehow I am just so "efficient" in absorbing the sunlight that I look almost half an indian now. *CRYYYYYYYY*

Thankfully, the frustrations of the course is well compensated by the lots of eat that we have. Think Bala is extremely disgusted with the way I gorge myself. We had yummy frog porridge, vege, soya beancurd for dinner on Day 1. Super yummy prawn noodles for lunch & claypot rice, fish & chips (upon my request :P) and grass jelly for dinner for Day 2. Though the course wasn't strenous at all, think I carbo-loaded enough to run a marathon :P No wonder I have no problems with the capsize drill, think the additional fats help me to float even better wahahaha
But I have to say I'm very happy to eat with Tigger. He sure knows where the good food are, and HE DOES EAT!! I am definitely happier going out with people who do eat, will say what they want to eat and will eat! Less frustrating!!! :) But of course he can eat and gorge and not grow fat since he exercises 3 times harder :) Not many people can do what he does unless he / she is like KJ who has basically given up hope :P
Anyhow, thanks for bringing us to all these good places, Tigger!

Lots more interesting reads can be found in the boys' blogs ...
Balasing - Excuse Me, Are You A Teacher?
Tigger - Tigger Show III, Roasted Tigger, Overweight Tigger
Roentgen - Kayak!, Kayak Part 2

SGRiver-Esplanade-Kallang Run

I wanted to do a short run before kayaking course and so decided to deposit my barang in the gym before I head out for a run. As I got to the gym, the view that greeted me was just spectacular. It was minutes past 7am and the sun was still just peering out from behind the clouds. Isn't it beautiful ? Too bad I wasn't there for a swim, else I think it would be very therapeutic.

Having to keep to the time, I didn't waste time and proceeded down for my run. Initially I didn't want to run the SGRiver-Esplanade-Kallang route coz it was just too predictable, but wanted to go explore other areas and see whether I could find any hidden gems around the CBD. But the lack of time and I didn't want to risk being late, I decided to just do the safe route. With my ipod, glasses & gym keys safely in place, I headed out towards Boat Quay and was very surprised when I ran past the back alley and saw many revellers from the night before loitering in the alley, some obviously still recovering from the copious amount of alcohol they had imbibed. Regretted running past the alley and had to pick up pace to avoid any unpleasantness ...

Stopped about 10 mins into the run to do my stretching, and was able to have a very nice view of the sun, bright orange, on the same level as The Flyer. It was really beautiful and I just stopped there to stretch while admiring the beauty of it ... too bad I didn't have my camera with me to capture this beautiful moment ...

I still felt very tired from the run, less than 20 mins into the run and I was like dreading the distance, the run and wondering how I'm able to do the return leg. This really isn't a good sign. So obviously the tuesday CBD run when I felt tired wasn't due to the immense heat, it was my own body. What's wrong with me ? Why am I not enjoying my run ? Why am I feeling so tired, so out of whack ? Why ? Why ? Should I rest more ? But its not as if I'm over-exercising ? I used to think maybe I should rest in between my workouts, but hey, its not as if my workouts are strenous. Definitely not as compared to many others who do more strenous exercises and more than once a day! So what's it with me ?

I slowed down several times but tried not to stop to walk as I was afraid my stopping will just melt my resolve to run ... so I just went at a very slow pace and struggled all the way to Kallang, hitting the sea sports club that I would be returning to later for my kayaking course, u-turning 30 mins into the run so that I can hit a 1 hr run. I took a walk after the u-turn to catch my breath and trotted on back the same route as I came. The run was made worse by the low tide as it dried up the Kallang waters and left a very repulsive looking and pungent smelling river. Running that stretch was very unpleasant that morning.

On my way back, I saw this figure in a familiar top running towards my direction. Hmm, the top looks like the KL Pacesetters T ... as the figure approaches, I thought "hmmm, looks familiar ... " suspected it was who I tot he was but didn't dare to ack in case I ack the wrong person and malu myself ... ran a few more steps and saw him wave. Yes! So its him! Below was our non-verbal communication ... (words in brackets is what I intended to say, and what I assumed he meant by his body language) :P

He : *waved to me* (Morning!)
Me : *waved back* (Morning!)
Me : *smiled ... sticked out tongue* (going to peng san liao, tired!! cannot catch my breath to talk)
He : *sticked out tongue too* (tired too but I'm carrying on .... )
Both : *nodded and proceeded on* (ok, can't stop to talk else will break momentum and may end up walking the rest of the journey back :P bye, cya later!)

Power of non-verbal communication ... when communication transcends the spoken words .... hahahahaha

Finally returned to the gym building all tired and drenched. (Yes, I was drenched with sweat from the run! ) Dun tink I was so drenched during the noon time run. What was going on man ? I quickly did my stretching, cooled down and headed back to the gym to shower. Was a tiring run, with some pain and tightness on my calf. Haiz, think I have to return to running on the treadmill for now, and at a much shorter distance ...

Though a short tiring run, I was glad I managed to run a little. Its a nice way to start a weekend morning. :)

Virus!!!

Smiling Is Infectious
Author Unknown

Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.

I passed around the corner
and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realized
I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile,
then I realized its worth.
A single smile, just like mine
could travel round the earth.

So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected.
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!

Easier said than done lor ... If i'm not in a good mood ... how to make myself smile ??

Running Injuries

As a lead up to the JP Morgan run come May, company organised a Running Injuries talk for us.

The talk covered the very basic of running injuries, nothing that I don't already know about from all the things I've heard, read, learnt in the past year from the SGRunners, particularly after I got injured.

The doctor who gave the talk (no, not from CGH, but I shall leave out details here) talked about the common running gait being a heel strike. I then asked him whether we should be landing on our heel or what some people advocate, on the mid-foot. Doc said that he himself is trying to adjust to land more on the mid-foot, but he emphasized on the landing SOFTLY, rather than stomping.

The doc later responded to someone's question about how to choose the proper footwear by offering to check on our foot so as to help us determine what footwear would be appropriate. After the group dispersed, yours truly just thick skinnedly marched to the front and requested for the physiotherapist to analyse my form. Actually there were a few others interested but all too shy to go first haha ... Anyway, interestingly, physiotherapist and doc both found that there is a difference in my leg length (after making me walk up and down the length of the auditorium countless times while someone snapped away with the digital camera!! I fiercely warned them not to put up the pics! *hmph!*) They said my leg length diff is quite apparent *gasp* and doc even asked whether i tend to stand on one leg (which he noticed). True lor!

Anyway, I didn't really get an idea what shoes to wear though I told doc I'm currently wearing kayanos. He said I would need both support & cushioning shoes and cumulus is NOT one of them. He also suggested I look at Mizuno Alchemy (when I told him about my liking for mizuno, that it fits me very well). Physiotherapist stressed the need for me to strengthen and stretch ... guess I just have to continue with whatever I'm doing (if not more)

So time to go shoe shopping, and to hunt for the elusive shoe that fits me! Doc said its common for one to like go through 20 over pairs of shoes before finding the right one! *faint* This is like finding your Mr Right!!!
I sure hope not to have to go through this long painful process! By then dunno what would have happened to my kahs liao :P

Egg Tarts!!!

Loti bought egg tarts and specially delivered to my office leh!!!

So nice of Loti!!! *MUACKS*

THANKS gal!!! Makes me less BCC instantaneously ! :P

Heng!

Pouring now!!!
Heng I didn't procrastinate yesterday and ran today instead! Else I would have been soaked!!!!

Am I lucky or am I lucky ?? :P

Silly Tots...

Have you ever had some silly tots which logically and rationally you know it is silly to execute or even if u execute the results may not be satisfactory, but u just have this nagging thought and you just need to try it ?

Well, somehow I did.

Silly Tot 1
Last Sunday, I needed a swim since I haven’t really swam for 1 week for you-know-why. Since mom was at sis place, I wanted to spend time at home rather than go to the gym for my swim and practically spend a few hours travelling to and fro the gym. So decided to check out the public pool near my place at 8am (according to the website it opens at 8am) to beat the crowd. The last time I visited the pool was I think 2 years ago on a Sat. The place was soooo packed with people that my friend and I ended up yakking instead of swimming. So this time I told myself to be prepared for a similar experience, and even if it turned out to be indeed packed, I wouldn’t gripe that I have wasted my time because I would have experienced for myself and I wouldn’t even consider swimming at the public pool on the weekends in future.

True enough, when I got there, the pool was already super crowded!! -_-“ (Apparently the competitive pool opens at 6:30am on Mon, Wed, Fri & Sun) I decided to just try my luck and started swimming. They have split the pool into 3, with the middle lane dedicated for “continuous lap swimming”. Of course, I stuck to the left-most lane and did my breast-stroke. Don’t even dare attempt freestyle since I’m unfamiliar with the pool and I might just bum`p into on-coming “traffic”. Shortly after, this hunk of an instructor came with 2 kids and the kids started swimming. One of them was practicing her backstroke so I had to try my best to get out of her way. At one point I had to duck under the water with another man while the 2 kids swam towards us oblivious to their surrounding. Close shave! I tot ok, this is way too challenging for me … I might just drown! :P

Was already losing the determination to continue when I saw this pack of kids (mainly boys) jumping in to start their class -_-“ Haiz. … really don’t wish to vie with all these people for the use of the pool, its just so not worth the effort and since I’m a weak swimmer, I better get out of harm’s way.

So, in all, I managed a pathetic 20 mins and left. But ok lah, I reminded myself not to get frustrated coz I was prepared for the outcome and also at least now I KNOW I shouldn’t even bother hitting the public pool on a weekend :P

Silly Tot 2
Somehow recently, I’ve been entertaining this crazy idea to go for a lunchtime jog. I have absolutely NO idea why but the tot just kept popping into my head. So I planned for it and on Tues lunch time, I decided to just heck and hit the road though inside me I was really apprehensive (“so hot!!! Am I nuts?!?!?!”, "how to run?!?!", "will I faint?!").

The sun was out and I was like thinking people must be thinking I’m CRAZY!

I just ran the usual CBD route that I was familiar with. The route I used to run on Tues nite last year before I got injured. Wah, the place is now so messy, so many construction going on, I wonder how the sgrunners run that route every tues night! So dark! So dangerous lor !!!

10 mins into the run I was so regretting the run. I was tired, I was breathless. Some guy nodded & waved at me politely as he overtook me and trotted along effortlessly. I was trying to keep pace with him until he turned to take a different route while I carried on straight towards the pier. It took me so darn long to get to the marina pier where I took some water from the tap, rested a while before continuing the journey back, wondering how on earth I’m gonna return to my office in one piece.

I contemplated taking the short route back to CBD (i.e. going straight instead of turning right to the Superbowl Golf & Country Club at the first junction out of marina pier) but decided not to short-change myself. As I passed the country club, noticed this little banner outside that said “City Prawning & Fishing 24 hours”. Didn’t know they have that in marina, so next time if nothing better to do in the middle of the night can consider going there ? haha .. super bo liao

I was so tired from the heat (that could be just an excuse ?) or my inability to run that I ended up walking many times, at some parts I ran for 1+ mins only to be forced to walk as my legs were just so heavy and I was so breathless. Feeling defeated, I struggled the rest of my way back running and walking.

Along the way I met many other crazy people like me ... in fact ...
3 CRAZY ang mos ...
2 CRAZY Chinese ...
and 1 CRAZY Indian

all starting their run. And judging from the way they were running, seems like they do that quite often ??

When I reached my office tower, I was just sooo relieved that my ordeal was over. I didn’t even manage an hour run, it was a run walk of 50mins. But enough is enough … I think I have had the experience of being crazy. Will I do that again ? Ehm, let’s see when I start to go crazy again :P

Interview with Michelle Chia

Read about actress-host Michelle Chia in the papers today. I like her … gorgeous, jovial and very bubbly on TV. So was very keen to read about her in "the monday interview".

Was surprised to find that we have many things in common (in terms of our attitude lah, not looks definitely -_-").

Snippets from the interview that just described me to a T!

"genuinely not interested in socializing, let alone playing politics." - that's me for sure.

"some artists will fight for their chances. Not her. She works very hard but she won’t cut queues, act smart or go through the back door to get her hands on certain programmes" - again me. I remembered working my butt off and not getting any recognition. Someone then told me to work smart (find visible projects to do) and not hard. So as I age, i get more jaded. There is NO point in studying hard and getting sterling results (not that my academic performance is anything to rave about). A lot depends on luck, timing, network, aptitude and many more .. and most of them do not depends on ur academic excellence.

"sometimes, I do tell her it doesn’t hurt to stay a while longer to talk to people. But she won’t do it unless she’s required to. It’s always straight back home after work for her" - Bingo! Me again. I'm the one that dreads all those silly department outings, lunches & retreats. See lah, this kind of attitude and character, no wonder cannot be noticed ... forever the worker :P

this is what she said of herself which sounds like she is describing me ... "I’m the kind of person where, if you give me something, I’ll make the best out of it. But if I’m not given something, I won’t stretch out my hands to take it" – That’s just so me. Perhaps overly laid-back ? Or perhaps just our personality? Something like "locus of control" which i learnt back in school. Its a concept in psychology where some people think that external factors play a part in determining what happens to them while others think that everything can be controlled with their own bare hands. I’m definitely the former. Some people also call people like us the opposite of go-getters. I guess that’s also me … and perhaps that’s why I can’t be whining that I’m still bumming at my age and not achieve anything worth mentioning ? Its in a way my own doing ?

and the very last thing that she said "I don’t have enemies but I’m not the most popular person. I’m always the last to know about things, so people never come to me for gossip because I have nothing to gossip about". Wah!!! That’s just so me lor! This is true whether at work or in personal life. At work, I don’t mix with my colleagues. There is no bad blood, I smile when I meet them. I don't think they dislike me, but basically I just don't make any impression. I make minimal, obligatory small-talk when I'm in a confined area with them (e.g at the lift-lobby or in the lifts (which I hate!!!)) but I just dun like to mingle with colleagues. Full-stop. Somehow I just don’t feel comfy.

Haiya, so much in common in character, but why no similarities in the physical attributes ah ??? hahahhaha :P

Home Cook Dinner

Went grocery shopping @ Sheng Siong today .... Look at the extent of the kind of stuff they sell ... even live fishes! Very elaborate hor ?

This is stingray ... almost bought this .... but since kids wouldn't appreciate spicy sambal stingray, so decided against buying ...

They sell all sorts of vegetables ... we naturally grabbed many bags of these so that mom can cook me some yummy vegetables for dinner *beaming* :)






And the long awaited dinner .... seldom get to eat home cooked food now ... so really treasure the yummy food sis & mom prepared .... thanks mamee & chei chei !!! :D
sis even tried her hand at making the red bean pancake .... the skin turned out to be a tad soft and rubbery instead of the crispy on the outside, rubbery on the inside ... but its still good enough for us all! Especially when its home made :)

me is one happy and contented daughter & sister this weekend .. lalala :)

Penang Trip 9-11 Mar

Photo Collages

I realised I have been randomly snapping pictures more regularly nowadays. Pictures of anything and everything ... from the sky to the food to the stuff that amuses me ....

So many of these pictures but nothing that really made me want to blog about ... so the images continue to accumulate without so much of a mention. Rather than wasting the space and also not recording the thoughts that went through my head when I took whatever I took, decided to just make them into collages. At least I have a memory of these pics, without having to spend too much time blogging about it ...

Thanks to Bala who patiently taught me how to do photo collages. So patient I wonder why IT Helpdesk support isn't this good!!

So finally made a collage of my no-longer-so-recent trip to Penang....

Once again, thanks Bala! :)

Family Day

I had an enjoyable day with mom today. Brought mom out for dim sum lunch at Wah Lok (Yes!!! Finally got to try Wah Lok after hearing about it for sooooo long!). After the hearty lunch which left us stuffed and satisfied, we went shopping to work off the thousands of calories we piled on ... brought mom to Raffles City, showed her the never-ending queue for donuts at the RC basement and showed her The Soup Spoon where I sometimes go for lunch alone ... mom even helped me pick out some nice accessories. Seldom get to do such girly stuff with mom, feels good :)

Original intent to go for a swim in the afternoon slowly faded away (yes, laziness and coupled with wanting to spend some time with the family) and decided to join mom and sis family at the Ponggol Park for niece's school performance.

There was a heavy downpour in the mid-afternoon. Thankfully the sky cleared up and the sun was back in full blast right before the event started. While waiting for the performance to start, I roamed in the park and saw many grown men engrossed with their radio controllers. So what are they controlling ? ....

......
.....

They were playing with their miniature sailing boats. Quite nice to see all these little boats moving slowly in the waters while their "captains" steer them around a blue little buoy. But seriously, after a few minutes, I dunno what's the deal with this. How difficult is it to control the boat ? Issit that fun ? Imagine these men were there right before I was at the park, and were still there an hour later after the school performance ... *yawn* So fun meh ?

Though hot, it was actually a very beautiful day ... clear blue sky, all the trees and shrubs, too bad the temperature is hot. If only we had nice cool weather, it would be perfect.






After that brought the family to Hooked on Heads for dinner since they had no ideas where to eat. Bill came up to $73+++ for just 4 adults 2 kids. Just a little cheaper than last week when 9 of us paid just $88++ (and we ordered more then!). But prolly coz we ordered a fish, and drinks ... jack up the price. But I finally get to try their dessert. Their sticky rice with mango is yummy!

My sis loved the bread I bought previously from this traditional bakery shop called Singapura Bakery in Thomson. She was disappointed when she went this afternoon only to find the shop closed. I told her the shop should be opened at night and since it was along the way, we decided to check it out, and also to show mom this really interesting, atypical bakery shop. When we got there, the place was packed and in usual fashion, they were blasting ..... CNY music!!! Hahaha ... needless to say we grabbed many kinds (peanut, red bean, white lotus, raisin, choc chip, hot-dog) of loti, in fact more than we need :P One of the helpers came out with a tray of butter & sugar coated loti for all the customers to sample .... they were all so upbeat and alive and were joking with the customers ... the lively shop was such a stark contrast to the almost dead neighbourhood ...

What a traditional bakery! The people behind were busy baking and they were dishing out fresh-from-the-oven loti to sell! Those loti we chose were still warm, soft & fresh! Too bad I was stuffed from dinner, else I wouldn't have been able to resist popping the freshly made loti into my mouth! :P

We bought 2 big bags of loti, for just $7.50. Very nice to soak up the happy atmosphere there ... ;)But this time round the uncle never give us any free raisin bread ... think they too busy .. :P(And we were in for a pleasant surprise when sis found during breakfast the following morning that they had threw in 2 raisin bread free). So nice! :P

Satisfied day ... and an extremely satisfied tummy *rubs tummy happily* ... I can see cholestrol level hitting the roof :P

BuiBuiJazzy

Seletar Airbase

Layed off for over a week and decided to go for a trial run this morning ... just to see whether my legs are better.

I dunno about you but I get bored with routines. If I catch myself mentally going through what I'll be doing even before doing the activity, a sense of boredom and dread typically follow. I'll be crippled by this sense of sian-ness and my motivation level drops. This applies to running or gym or just going somewhere. So this morning I was having so much difficulty deciding where to run as I was sian to run the same HSP routes, but was also too lazy to travel all the way to the gym for a run ...

I told myself to vary the route this mrn to keep my spirits up. Promptly put on my sunglasses, cap & ipod and hit the road for a short run. Decided not to run straight up Yio Chu Kang to Ang Mo Kio like what I sometimes do so as to hit my favourable stretch of tree-lined road along Thomson. Instead I decided to revisit Seletar Airbase. Brought back memories of the first time I ran inside there with Teelee & Shut last year. Also the time we passed inside the camp enroute to Sembawang during the LSD to Sembawang. That time running seemed more effortless. Now, I just felt breathless less than 30 mins into the run and I had to slow down to a walk several times just to catch my breath (sigh).

Nice to run inside the camp though. Admiring all the nice colonial one-storey houses. A little like those houses in Dempsey road ... think these are rental houses ? Wonder how much they cost per month ... several thousand dollars ?

Saw another entrance at the other side of the camp, think its the real camp? Don't dare to run near it in case the guards point their rifles at me :P Its times like these I wish I wasn't running alone coz I dunno whether I was trespassing or not :P Of coz kiasi me would rather err on the side of error and u-turned and headed back the way I came from. :P As I left the airbase, I was too tired and had to abort the plan to run the bigger loop passing Sengkang and Ponggol which I originally intended. Instead took the same route back from where I came from ... Had to walk some parts coz was too tired ... even a malay ah pek overtook me at one point ... -_-" but I managed to catch up with him after my walk break to salvage a little of my bruised ego. His following right behind me also powered me to give my all and run the remaining distance back to the starting point at a decent pace ...haha ... thanks pak cik! :P

Total time taken (with walk breaks etc) - 1hr 10 mins
Total distance - I dunno ... <>
Felt some shin in the beginning of the run, and calf pain towards the end ... think its time I go for a deep tissue massage ....

Guess I can't deny that my running must have contributed in large part to my injury since I'm still having pain after so long ... do I really not have the genetic makeup for running? :P

As I was struggling in my run this morning, I was marvelling at how I could have done LSDs to the zoo in the past, or to run most of the way for the AHM 2006. They seem so impossible to me now ... are they a thing of the past for me ?

How to Stay Stuck in the Wrong Career

A friend sent me this Harvard Business Review article written by Herminia Ibarra, hoping that I will find answer to what I want in my career and life.

A very refreshing read ... it makes me feel like I'm not alone in my nagging doubts and my experiences, about my quest in finding my "true self", my taking the plunge only to panic shortly after etc.

According to the study, the problem why we remained stuck in the wrong career, lies not in our fear of change, lack of readiness, unwilling to make sacrifices (which are the common beliefs that many have when they fail to switch career). Rather, it lies with our methods, not our motives.

The writer, based on studies of people in the throes of career change, realised that change involves "Doing first, knowing comes later" and not the typical "plan-and-implement" approach we are all so attuned to.

In the latter, we try to find out about ourselves, what our likes/dislikes, our skills/experiences and exactly where we are going before acting upon it. In the former, we basically learn who we have become, in practice, not in theory. So there is a lot of trial and error, taking the time to explore and find out what suits us, what works for us (this may mean to take up some freelance, pro bono work and try for ourselves whether it truly suits us - and NOT to quit your day job!).

One important thing mentioned is that "Starting out trying to identify one's true self often cause paralysis". How true ... that prolly also explains why I'm still in ground zero. Haiz.

Lastly, there is NO one true self. We are many selves. It could be who we are, what we hope to become or fear becoming. These selves help mold us and decide on our career change.

The article explained about the 3-step to career change. No, its not some 21-day guide to change your career. Its is a careful & practical plan for those planning a career change to think and act according to what many others have done and successfully made the switch. Its gonna take lots of effort and lots of time (perhaps several years) before one can succeed in this ...

Nice read. Thanks Don for sending me this article! :)

Bad Habit

I ...
AM ....
TRYING ....
VERY ....
HARD ....
to
not return to my BAD habit.

Determination is waning .... HELPPPPPPP!!!!

Bad Luck

One colleague told me just today that her mom suffered a fall just over the weekend, and now need an operation. How unfortunate. One could be healthy and walking one moment, and the next ... The colleague's mother was actually at home, after returning from lunch with her children. She was doing some housework when she fell. Probably her age (actually not very old, just 60-ish) contributed to the seriousness of the fall. Was talking to colleague about medical bills and she said the operation will again set them back by few tens of thousands of dollars (the mom went for some other operation last year). Thankfully she has filial kids who would pool $$ together to pay for the medical fees. Imagine many other families who couldn't afford the $$ ..

Of course my mind started wondering about what will happen to me when I grow old. Really reminded me to plan & save for old age. There are always articles in the papers about retirement planning, about saving up for your medical bills in future etc. Just yesterday the papers (Invest Section) was talking about wholelife & term insurance. I always feel more depressed just reading and thinking about all these, coz I just felt so ill prepared ... am I sufficiently covered ? Do I have adequate $$ to feed myself when I'm old and jobless ? I always know I need to get my act together financially but I just dunno where to start. Was just talking to my financial planner recently, its true that as we age, the number of stressors in our lives increase .. we have so many more worries ... at one stage we were even comparing the amount of white hair we both have .. haha ...

Was online in the evening and learnt from Bee that she had a fall also over the weekend, and blacked-out. She got scratches on many parts of her body and even had some stitches near to her left eye. Was shocked to hear about her fall and we were just glad that there weren't anything major, mostly superficial cuts and stuff. Wishing her a speedy recovery!!

Envy

Anyone read Sumiko Tan's article in yesterday's Lifestyle section ?

I got a shock when I started reading the article. Was she reading my mind ??? How come we share the same worries ? emotions ??

This isn't the first time I could totally relate to her articles .. and while I just sit around moping and worrying about my future (or the lack of it), about my possibility to end up just collecting tin cans at old age etc, Sumiko is able to clearly articulate her thoughts ... I'm just in awe .. and more so coz we shared the same sentiments!

Anyone of you read the article and felt like us ?

一個人的行李

A friend must be sensing my recent frustrations and thought that this song is very suitable for me. Indeed, it does speaks a bit of how I feel ... Thanks, Jik:)!

戴佩妮 一個人的行李

作詞：Penny 作曲：Penny


心情好or心情壞 有什麼好假裝
反正天若真的塌下來 我自己扛

天氣好or天氣壞 有什麼好緊張
反正下一秒鐘的我 開始 開始流浪

我要一個人去東京鐵塔看夜景
我要一個人去威尼斯看電影
我要一個人去陽明山上看海芋 拍偶像劇

我要一個人去紐約純粹看雪景
我要一個人去巴黎喝咖啡寫信
我要一個人的旅行 一個人透透氣

向右轉or向左拐 有什麼不一樣
反正每一條未知的路 都有未來

我和誰在談戀愛 有什麼大驚小怪
反正下一秒鐘的我 早已 早已離開

我要一個人在希臘夢見蘇格拉底
我要一個人的通宵看完魯迅的背影
我要一個人呆呆的在浴缸裡 思考阮玲玉

我要一個人的北京探望孟姜女
我要一個人的書局和志摩談情
我要一個人的旅行 一個人徹底

心情好or心情壞 有什麼好假裝
一個人的旅行 一個人的行李
一個人的旅行 一個人的空氣
一個人的旅行 一個人到底

一個人的旅行 一個人的行李
一個人的旅行 一個人的空氣
一個人的旅行 一個人到底

有一個人在森林中漫遊的時候，
突然遇見了一隻飢餓的老虎，
老虎大吼一聲就撲了上來。
他立刻用生平最大的力氣和最快的速度逃開，
但是老虎緊追不捨，
他一直跑一直跑一直跑，
最後被老虎逼入了斷崖邊上。
站在懸崖邊上，他想：
「與其被老虎捉到，活活被咬、肢解，
還不如跳入懸崖，說不定還有一線生機。」

他縱身跳入懸崖，
非常幸運的卡在一棵樹上，
那是長在斷崖邊的梅樹，
樹上結滿了梅子。

正在慶幸的時候，
他聽到斷崖深處傳來巨大的吼聲，
往崖底望去，原來有一只兇猛的獅子正抬頭看著他，
獅子的聲音使他心顫，
但轉念一想：
「獅子與老虎是相同的猛獸，被甚麼吃掉，都是一樣的。」

當他一放下心，
又聽見了一陣聲音，
仔細一看，一黑一白的兩隻老鼠，
正用力地咬著梅樹的樹幹。
他先是一陣驚慌，
立刻又放心了，
他想：「被老鼠咬斷樹幹跌死，總比被獅子咬好。」

情緒平復下來後，
他感到肚子有點餓，
看到梅子長得正好，
就採了一些吃起來。
他覺得一輩子從沒吃過那麼好吃的梅子，
找到一個三角形的枝椏休息，
他想著：
「既然遲早都要死，不如在死前好好睡上一覺吧！」

他在樹上沉沉的睡去了。
睡醒之後，
他發現黑白老鼠不見了，
老虎、獅子也不見了。
他順著樹枝，
小心翼翼的攀上懸崖，
終於脫離險境。

原來就在他睡著的時候，
飢餓的老虎按捺不住，
終於大吼一聲，
跳下懸崖。
黑白老鼠聽到老虎的吼聲，
驚慌逃走了。
跳下懸崖的老虎與崖下的獅子展開激烈的打鬥，
雙雙負傷逃走了。

由我們誕生那一刻開始，
苦難．就像飢餓的老虎一直追趕著我們，
死亡，就像一頭兇猛的獅子，
一直在懸崖的盡頭等待，
白天和黑夜的交替，就像黑白老鼠，
不停地正用力咬著我們暫時棲身的生活之樹，
總有一天我們會落入獅子的口中。

既然知道了生命中最壞的情景是死亡，
唯一的路，
就是安然地享受樹上甜美的果子，
然後安心地睡覺，
只有存著這樣單純的心、少慾望、多一點赤子之心。

最近常常聽到朋友的親友去世的消息，
除了安慰了幾句外好像什麼都不能做了
恐怕有一天自己亦會成為別人口中的壞消息

所以你們有沒有好好的享受你在世上的每一分每一秒?

如果剛才你和另一半或是和家人為了芝麻綠豆的事鬧翻了

現在頭頂還在生煙的話

請你看看那晴朗的天空和那飄渺的白雲

其實你又錯過了美好的一天呀!

Easter Weekend

Didn't do much for the Easter weekend. Think PMS/T making me feel extremely tired physically and just wanted to keep to myself.

Couldn't drag myself to the gym on Sat so gave myself another day off ... just worked the tummy (with more sinful food haiz) and basically nuah-ed at home most part of the day.... reasoned that I should let my body rest too ba ... though will feel guilty for not exercising and eating like a PIG ... hmph!

After another hearty dinner on Sat and semi-hearty breakfast on Sun, decided that I should at least get out of the house before I go into hibernation mode. Which would be very detrimental to my mental health, so dragged myself out of the house to hit the gym.

I always enjoy walking along the quiet streets in CBD on the weekends. Just a few people on the streets, and with the morning sun and the breeze, really helps to just wake me up and remind me what a beautiful Sunday it is.

There were already quite a number of people in the pool (somehow the George St pool is constantly busy one :( ) but I managed to find a "lane" and started practising my swim. My free-style still SUCK big time. Got so breathless and this time even worse, feel like I'm gulping down water whenever I come up for air ... something which never happened. Think my tired-ness is showing ... nonetheless just proceeded and do what I can. Did what I could then decide to take a break to just chill on a deck chair and read my book. Very relaxing and what with the warm breeze, almost wish I could just lie there for hours! :P

Swam a little bit more before I got up to change to go for the pump class which I hadn't attend for over a week.

Didn't enjoy the pump class. Instructor was someone unfamiliar to me and I just didn't like her style. She wasn't motivating and her feigning lethargy and groaning into the mike was reaally irritating. Her routines were quite different though, and the tracks she used seem really old (i somehow recall one of the tracks from my PF pump days?!!? *faint*). I have to say though, that her pump was a bit more siong and I felt the pain on my arms and legs ...

I wanted to spend some quiet time reading my book so went to the nearby kpj for lunch and some reading. I had their roasted chicken with pita bread. Very yummy! But then the chicken with all its dressing must not be healthy ba ?? :P

Very comfortable just relaxing in one corner on the plushy couch, except that the air con was freezing!! What a tactic to ensure customers dun outstay their welcome :P But then again, the place wasn't crowded anyway haha ...

Did some walking around in Central before having dinner at their food court. My 2nd time trying their Yong Tau Foo and this time quite disappointed with the food. The veges look like they have been left out there for a very long time and the toufu with fish paste looked yellow. The fish paste was hard when I bite into it (first time I had such a yucky experience!!!) and the toufu actually tasted sour! Disgusting! Heng I never LS ! :(


All in all, glad I got my FAT lazy bum off the house and did some walking about, got some sun (actually more chao tah liao -_-") and some fresh air.

And now the Monday Bluezz begins ...

Layoff AGAIN!?!?!??!

Feeling the pain on my left shin again. This is bad. Felt the pain when I pressed down on 2 separate locations on my shin .... the same places where it used to hurt.
SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!

Suspect is my shoes ... was running with an old pair not thinking it would make such of a difference .... i could be wrong ...

Got to layoff again .... so much for wanting to resume my CBD run ... WTF!

Meet The Robinsons 3D

The last time I watched a 3D show was eons ago and so decided to watch MTR 3D at Vivocity.

Vivocity is still MADNESS with just wayyyy tooo many people. Definitely not a place for the faint hearted! Almost felt giddy just being there with all the buzz and activity *faint*

Movie wasn't that entertaining to me. I didn't quite enjoy it what with the blurry images (I can't place my source of grievance but just that the 3D images didn't look sharp and I just felt like I couldn't focus on the picture properly) and being too near to the screen (sigh, have to blame myself for booking such lousy tix! I should have just opted for seats along the aisle but further from the screen, then centre seats but closer to the screen. *whack head*) My lack of sleep for the past few days only exacerbated the situation and I fell asleep half-way into the show... so missed the part about the relationship of each member of the Robinson family ... -_-"
Anyway, dun tink I miss much la, a simple storyline .. nothing great I have to say. Almost contemplated walking out half way into the show coz glutton me was feeling v v hungry haha

Roentgen later commented that he is quite sure the movie screens weren't aligned properly hence resulting in the blur images. So chim ... trust our smart lokun to know the answers to such stuff :P *hail* Anyway, assigned him to lodge a complaint with GV so that hopefully we get our $$ back ! :P Oh, did I mention the screen went blank for like .. 10s in the middle of the movie ??? Not sure whether any of the patrons went to complain about it after the movie :P

Hopefully will catch a better show soon .... Spiderman next month ... should be something to look forward to ... also waiting for Ratatouille but that would be in June.

Movie kakis that joined in the fun include Roentgen, Renoh, Angel, Charmane & Teelee. Teelee still feeling under the weather. Poor guy. Seldom see Teelee sick. Pls take care and get well soon!

Cosmic Spin

The short work week hadn't make life easier what with my lousy mood and all ... so needless to say, my body and soul were just so glad for the reprieve on the Good Friday weekend.

Headed down to Paragon FF at 9am. Never been to Paragon and didn't had the time nor mood to check out the gym on their website before heading down. Was expecting an older, non-descrip gym so was pleasantly surprised when I saw that the gym was HUGE, quite new still, comfortable (the changing room was just like RQ or GeorgeSt). I was already lost even before I got INTO the gym! They had these gantries set up at the entrance where members were suppose to slide their membership card across a device attached above the gantry. I had to ask the front-line staff for help before I successfully got myself into the gym -_-"

The gym, shaped like a horse shoe, was well-equipped. There were rows of treadmills, elliptical & step machines on one side of the gym. Lots of weight machines and stuff. Definitely worth checking out! And surprisingly the gym was already busy early in the morning. Physically I was feeling really lethargic and so just did my strengthening exercises and just roamed around the gym while waiting for the spin class to start.

Spin class was led by one of my fav instructors, Rue. She is this very cool, tough-looking (not those sweetie pie type of gal), almost no-nonsense and those work-u-damn-hard instructor. Being a holiday, FF had special class schedules and Rue was gonna conduct this 75 mins spin class. I was really game to try the class despite my really tired body, will be a good workout to start the long weekend and to purge all the negativity in my body i reasoned :P

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the spin studio was not any like I've ever seen! It was pitch black with images of the planets & galaxies painted on the black walls. There were also UV lights and all, making one feel like he/she is in outer space. Very interesting concept and that lifted my spirits and made me die-die-want-to-try the spin class. Needless to say, thoughts of backing out of the spin class flew out the window :)

The class was full and thankfully I managed to register early. The whole experience in the darkened spin room was good. The semi-darkness made me less self-conscious, also less conscious of my surroundings and I was able to just listen to my own body and spin accordingly. I couldn't see where my resistance knob was at and so I didn't had to feel guilty about not turning up the knob high enough etc. Basically just spin according to how my body felt ... SHIOKZ!

Rue was GREAT! She was motivating, psyching the "team" (this is what the instructors will term us all while spinning. Sometimes they use the term "crew") up, cheering us on and throughout she was working so hard and yet still shouting out instructions to us without panting into the mike! SALUTE! And she has this very cute smile that didn't leave her face ... amazing! If only I could be half as fit as her! Will be damn happy liao lor!

That's not all, there was another, I suppose, trainee instructor that day that provided much distraction for me during the 75 mins :P This eye-candy of an instructor has well-toned and defined biceps with a pretty face to boot. Though Divey (yes, she decided to hit the gym for the spin class after a morning biking session on the road *faint*) thought he seemed gay-ish ? His instructor skills were anything to boast about but aww well, who cares as long as I get some distraction during my torturous spin class eh ? hahaha :P

Very enjoyable spin experience what with the cosmic experience, the great instructor & some yummy eye-candy ... the 75 mins almost seemed enjoyable "endurable"

After the good workout, we treated ourselves to some healthy buckwheat soba at the Simbashi Soba restaurant at the basement. Also had a toufu dish that didn't look very healthy ... but tasted all-so-yummy! Glad to be able to catch up with Divey a little!

Great workout with Roentgen & Divey. Thanks for the company ! :)

Questioning Myself

Am I just plain stupid ? Or are the people around me just THINK they know what they are talking about but in fact DO NOT MAKE SENSE ?!?!?! I really dunno.

I feel like they dun make sense, but they seem to speak with so much conviction & confidence that I question myself .... am I the one too pig headed to NOT understand their concept, their point of view ? Am I just the one that CANNOT MAKE IT ???? Am I just SLOW ???? How long do I need to be able to understand simple concepts that they have put through ????

I'm so lost ...

And i am feeling SF inadequate

Eruption

I know I need a break when I'm super duper f**king short fuse especially at work. And when I'm having an argument over the phone with incompetent people who absolutely just piss me off.

I just want to scream!!!!!!!!

MerapiJazzy

Falling Behind ....

Is it really april already ???? *eyes wide open*

Geez .... I'm falling behind in my targets ... Nope, I have not signed up for a course ..... only started reading up on some notes for this test I intend to go for .... progress is, as you could have guessed, slowwwww. Yes, I better wake up my idea, BUCK UP!!!!
Prolly I should just sign up for the test, so that I have the push factor to study hard for the test. If not, days passed and I will be blogging the same thing come May!

What other targets will I set for myself this month ?

Let's see ... some tots for now:

1. Take up kayak course. Have wanted to learn this for a while, but wasn't able to previously as I didn't meet the pre-requisities which is must know how to swim. Now that I can swim, I can finally go for this. Thanks to Kops for broaching this subject and getting me all excited about kayaking again! :) *bow*
2. Try CBD Run. Incidentally, just over the weekend, 3 people (in different occasions!) asked when I will return to the CBD run. I'm not sure as I'm not confident yet, to run the distance nor at the pace. I now run even more slower and shorter than before so I really do not wish to feel so pon chet too early on in the run (will make me totally lose confidence) nor do I want to spoil the sweeper's run with my super slow pace. So wait til I'm prepared bah. But hopefully I can join this month ? we shall see ...
   
3. Set some real targets for myself!!! I'm such a bummer !
   

Social Intelligence

Am *trying* to read this book by Daniel Goleman. Not an easy book to read (for me) as this book isn't as engaging and with an oft-wandering mind, I get distracted from the pages very easily :P

Still into the very first few pages of the book but found some interesting snippets that I just wanted to record down (to help me through my though process & also to help etched some of these into memory). Most of these are just the gist of what is said, and hopefully i'm representing them as accurately as I can ... if you are interested, pls read the book! :)

1. Mirror Neurons. "They reflect back an action we observe in someone else, making us mimic that action or have the impulse to do so" Think : When you are smiling, the whole world smiles with you. And you don't have to act to activate that mirror neuron, merely observing it can trigger the same neurons.
   What this means is that simulating an act (i.e. mentally rehearsing an action), is the same as performing it.
   


2. Meme. "Ideas that spread from mind to mind, much as emtions do". The notion of a meme was modeled on that of a gene: an entity that replicates itself by getting passed on from person to person". Anyway, what this means is explained in the form of surprising synchronicities between people. When such synchronicities happen, it feels like someone has read your mind. "Parallel trains of thought can lead two people to think, do , or say virtually the same thing at the same moment." "When we know someone well or experience strong rapport, conditions are near optimal for a confluence of our internal thoughts, feelings, perceptions and memories. We are in what amounts to a mind-meld where we tend to perceive, think, and feel in the same way as the other person. Such convergence goes on even when strangers become friends".


3. Altruism. The book cites an example where someone was in trouble but people passing by just walked right past, not even giving a hoot until someone stopped to look. Once someone stopped, others followed and in no time, this poor chap was tended to and provided the assistance he needed. So a critical factor at play in altruism is simply taking time to pay attention. "Our empathy is strongest to the degree we fully focus on someone and so loop emotionally"
   

That's all I can gather for now. Let me continue to try and read the book ....