Not feeling too well and although I'm hoping to get home as soon as I can, the very thought of "trekking" home via public transport really wasn't appealing .... thankfully colleague wasn't going to stay too late today and managed to get a lift home from her ...

Thanks to her, I now have something to blog about ....

Below recounts a conversation we had while on the way home

All names in this post have been changed to protect identities of all mentioned.

Straight-Talking Colleague (STC) : (exclaimed suddenly) "KJ!!!! When are you going to get married?!?!?!"
Me (KJ) : -_-" "Eh, STC. Such things beyond my control one leh ... "
STC : "Yah lah, but ... know you so long, how come you not even seeing any boy????"
Me : -__-" "Eh ..... I can't help it one rite ? hahaha"
STC : "Yah lah ... but you look at XX & YY (XX & YY are both young female colleagues of ours) ..."
Me : "Yah lah ... they are young and pretty mah .... "
STC: "Yes, and they are married already!!!! You are pretty too .... only that you are not ...*conversation trails off* let me complete the sentence for her ... young"
Me: -________-" "hahaha... well .... being married has its woes too what rite? "
STC: "That's true! Then no need to worry about being a parent volunteer etc."
Me: "Yup, and I can't even take care of myself. Can't imagine being a parent!"
STC: "Aiyo, you so OLD liao still cannot take care of yourself??"
Me: "........ (oops!)" :P (realised i can't win this haha)

And so this is what I have to endure to get a free ride home ... :P

Ok, so I tot I'm lucky not having to tolerate such bo liao questions during CNY .... but now i realise I have to tahan such talk on a day-to-day basis ????

This aside, in my daily work, I now recall being asked so many times by colleagues who DO NOT KNOW ME WELL, about the reason for my marital status!

A quick retrieval from my rusty memory bank ....

Incident 1
Culprit1 profile
Marital Status - Married
Gender - Female
Age - Younger than yours truly
Relationship with moi - Colleague, seldom talk, no business dealing
Scene - walking around killing time

Culprit1 : "KJ, are you married?"
Me : (shocked) "No"
Culprit1 : "Why you don't want to get married?"
Me : (wtf) "..."
Culprit1 : "Why you don't want to be attached?"
Me : (is this for real??) "..."

I concluded after this that this culprit who just created some noise is all vacuum in between the ears.

Incident 2
Culprits profile x 3
Marital Status - Married
Gender - 2 Female 1 Male
Age - All older than moi
Relationship with moi - Colleagues with business dealing
Scene - lunch

Culprit A : "KJ, you no boyfriend ah? Sure or not ??"
Me : "Yeah ..."
Culprit A : "how can it be ?? You too picky issit ?"
Me : "No lah ..."
Then all 3 of them started discussing about my marital status, in front of me ..... -_-"

Seriously ... I realise such conversation leads nowhere.... and they don't need my participation whatsoever :P So I became the listener while they analyse what could be wrong with me hahaha

Incident 3
Culprit3 profile
Marital Status - Married
Gender - Female
Age - Older than me
Relationship with moi - Colleague, NEVER talk, only said Hi/Bye probably once or twice
Scene - happen to be sitting at the same table during breakfast

Culprit3 : (suddenly leaning across the table to face me with her eyes wide open) "KJ, are you married?"
Me: "Nope"
Culprit3 : "Single and available or attached?"
Me: "Single .... er ... and available"
Culprit3: "Really?"
Another colleague chipped in: "Yeah lor, you have anyone to recommend to her???"

and once again I decided to extricate myself from the conversation by immersing myself into my plate of food ...

Thankfully I'm not affected by such queries (think my skin thick enough :P). I just find such talk very amusing ... and also what amazes me more is how direct some people can be .... does being married give them immunity to ask everyone and anyone whatever they like about WHY singles remain singles ? And what business is it of theirs anyway ? And more more importantly, what is wrong with being single ? I don't see anything wrong ? So don't ask the question as if being single make us any less of a human. I sometimes can even see that sympathy in their face ... oh puh-lease! Spare me that nonsense! I'm no feminist and I'm not about to burn any bras but pls! I really do not think that there is anything wrong being single and pls do not accord me any sympathy / empathy just because I'm single. Yes, it is good to have someone to turn to and though I wouldn't mind having that someone, but if I am not lucky enough to find one, that doesn't make me "handicap" in some way. And frankly, I'm not very envious of the married folks .... the kids, the families, the burdens, the committments ... guess what ? I'm happy just NOT needing to worry about any of those right now ... ok, so I will grow old alone ... but being married doesn't necessarily guarantee that you wouldn't either ...

Sometimes I just get irritated and griped about the current system .... yes, the Gov ought to support or offer grants to the families, the married folks etc. etc., but hey, I'm contributing to the economy too, and while the new mothers stayed at home to nurse the young (and thanks to them hopefully we can slow down SG's greying rate. And I applaud the moms for that dun get me wrong), we have to cover their duties above our own ... what do we get ? Hmmm ... no rights to our own public housing (until we are above 35 that is), no grants for singles (correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see anything in this latest Budget that benefits the singles ?) But of course, I'm just griping ... others may have it worse ....
*shrug* ... I haven't done any homework with regards to what singles in other countries get ... so I really have no basis for comparison ... but as I grow older, and remain single, I just wish that the Gov can see us as equal beings too and cut us some slack ... we are contributing the same, if not more, just like any other married person ...

Aw well, so much for a ride home. My brain is now more active than it should be ... and I ought to be in bed 30 mins ago .... :P