Perpetual Lethargy

That's how I'm feeling of late.

Went for a swim on Monday morning and engine just COULDN'T start. I struggled for 10 mins, psychoed myself for another 20. The number of laps covered is the lowest, lower than my baseline. I stopped after an hour with more rests than swim.

So ... I stopped all physical activities from then on. In some other people's words/minds, that would mean SLACK. But I couldn't care less anymore. Yup, I'm slacking.

Its funny how I have to "force" myself to SLACK because I get guilty. Guilty of being a slacker, of not just going to the gym and working it out. Not so much to lose weight (I've long since given up haha), but just for not even trying tokeep myself fit? Thoughts like the following kept swimming in my lil head:

1. You will lose the momentum and wun hit the gym anymore
2. You will get too comfy slacking & nuahing
3. Once engine stop, hard to start again. Takes loads more effort. Might as well just hit the gym and continue with the flow
4. Eat like a hog and yet don't even try to lose one calorie ??
5. You will lose whatever fitness you have built up. Got to start all over again!
   

But seems like I'm not the only one who feel this way. And I guess that's why there are so many people who hit the gym daily, and sometimes more than once a day.
But interestingly, the guilt didn't last for long. By the 2nd day, I no longer feel as guilty and I no longer struggle with the dilemma of whether to hit the gym (hmmm, habits don't need 21 days to form afterall haha ... at least not bad habits. That prolly need just 24 hours :P). In fact, I felt liberated. Suddenly I realise I might have been invisibly chained to the gym, and breaking this chain makes me feel a little more free ? and a little more in control. Yes, I suddenly felt that I have lost control in deciding whether I want to go gym or not. It felt like I am forced/obligated to go ?

Its amazing how taking one step back can help in reviewing your perspectives. Yup, think I'm crazy liao.

And today, I went back to the gym. And my legs felt wobbly and weak ... my whole body does. Not good. Nevermind, I shall continue to slack rest then. To liberation and beyond!

Sorethroat now ..... too much junk food. Hope I don't fall sick over the weekend. *cross fingers*